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Life Aboard vs Life Ashore

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Emerald Bay, Corfu Sailing August 2018

Life Aboard vs Life Ashore – We wake up naturally vs with an alarm. Jump into the sea for a morning swim vs morning shower. Fruit & yoghurt for breakfast all together vs separate breakfasts. Galley overlooks the sea vs Kitchen over the driveway. Home sails to a new place each day vs our house as a stationary base. Exploring new places and adventures each day vs familiarity and known quantities. Anchor vs park. Dinghy rides to the shops and out for dinner vs. car. Siestas vs coffee break and pushing through. Watching the stars vs watching TV. Made up stories on the bow vs stories from a book in bed. Early eve watersports vs playing in the garden. Wearing swimmers vs clothes. Skin on skin hugs vs clothed hugs. Spending half the day in the sea vs the odd swim. Warm seawater that feels like silk vs cold sea that gives you chills. Bare feet vs shoes. Al Fresco showers vs showers inside. Morning meditations on the bow, sun and breeze on my face vs morning meditations in my room imagining I am on the bow! No WIFI vs WIFI central. Family card games vs computer games. Freedom vs routine and conformity. Perfect sea view and open vista vs garden view and limited vista. Boat time ruled by our natural rhythms vs Home time ruled by our schedules! Relying 100% on us and each other vs relying on others as well ourselves. Close family bond vs frequently disconnected unit. Daily shared ice cream moments vs the odd shared biscuit moment. Long to-do lists vs list-free Being. W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L

Life Ashore vs Life Aboard –Our deliciously wide range of friends and family vs constant immediate family. Evenings with my husband vs 24/7 with the kids. Known quantities vs daily adventure. Our nest, haven, bricks and mortar which shelters us from any storm vs our cosy floating home that is very weather dependent. Toilet paper into loos that flush vs toilet paper into bins and pumping loos! Binmen who collect rubbish vs discarding own rubbish in each town. More of your own space & headspace vs constant close proximity. Wide variety of foods vs food of the country you are in. Running vs swimming. Our pets vs stray cats.  Electricity and water on demand vs limited electricity and water. Long showers and deep baths vs quick showers. H.E.A.V.E.N

We seek a natural balance of life. Part of the human experience to crave something different to what you have. When we are home we will dream of the boat. When we are on the boat we will dream of home. We will enjoy both and work to be present in both, we will always look forward to moving from one to the other and appreciate each for the benefits they give us. The boat answers our need for escape, freedom, disconnection from the hubbub of life to gain deeper connection with each other and ourselves. Our wonderful home is our family Headquarters, suffused with love and gives us a plethora of opportunities to grow and thrive.

Now, we are busy, packing, planning and manifesting the next stage. It is soon time to leave our nest at home and get aboard again. The Atlantic Ocean Crossing awaits us – we are excited, a little daunted, but absolutely ready for this next adventure! All sailing blogs will be posted here and you will be able to track our progress as we cross the Atlantic. 6 Batts, my lovely Dad and nephew, our lovely BattPack and a whole lot of sea and sky ahead!

 

JOMO – The JOY of missing out!

So we live in a world where FOMO rules. People are literally stricken by the fear of missing out. That dreaded fear that you may miss out on an opportunity unless you stay as connected as humanely possible, or the fear that other people have organised an event and, sin of all sins, not invited you. Mobile phones have fuelled this epidemic because, rather than make a plan and stick to it (as was the case when I was young), we know that we can send a last minute text to excuse ourselves if a better option arises. It is a greedy world and can seem like you never really know where you are.

Social media governs that we are more abreast of the details in everyone’s lives than ever before. Sure, there are some interesting bits but largely it is just noise. Noise that doesn’t often help us or make our hearts sing but instead leaves us comparing our lives to other people’s and wondering why ours doesn’t look quite so shiny and exciting.

Ok so many of us suffer with FOMO. I present to you another option JOMO – the JOY of missing out!! When we can simplify our lives and quieten down the additional noise of social media we are left with what is going on right here, right now. What is going on for YOU in YOUR life rather than being bombarded with what is going on right here, right now, in everyone else’s life. Be kind to yourself. If you enjoy indulging in a little social media why not limit it to certain times of the day when it feels good to catch up. Don’t let it insidiously creep into your life when you simply would be better off without the distraction. Let the Joy of missing out seep into your bones as you truly connect with right here, right now in your life.

In November 2016 I felt literally swamped by life. There was so much noise around me, in our busy family life and with our busy friendship group. I was as connected as it was possible to be – Facebook, Instagram, Whats App, Messaging, Email, Telephone. I love helping people and had spent my early mothering years making myself available whenever anyone needed me, sometimes not in my best interests. I am a radiator, I will radiate my energy far and wide, where required and am often in danger of not having enough energy left for me, to fuel my fire. My lovely Mamma knew it well and reminded me to not let others drain me – it does me good to heed her advice.

Back to November 2016, the noise became unbearably loud and I felt like I needed to retreat from the madness so that I could focus on my gorgeous family and give them the best of me, rather than a diluted me who was so distracted by the busyness of life! One issue with social media is that it permeates your home and demands your attention when you don’t have time to give it. A month prior I had turned off all notifications so that my phone stopped pinging, dinging and buzzing whenever a message came through. But that was not enough, social media is drug like in its addiction. Slowly but surely, I developed a habit of way too regular checking of my phone to see what messages had come through. It had got to the stage with me that life was so busy with chatter from friends far and wide that I would even take my phone to the toilet with me to catch up!! Nuts – no-one else comes to the loo with me, why did I think it was normal procedure for my phone to come & for me to be checking it whilst I went to the loo?!! Bonkers!! This was the case for me and yet I knew that that other friends had it far worse – they couldn’t even get through a social occasion without constantly phone checking to the point where you wondered quite what the point was of you being physically there with them. I was doing ok compared to them, but still my ‘ok’ wasn’t me thriving and it needed to change for me to reconnect to the life I was living.

I chatted through my predicament with my gorgeous friend Julia and I floated my idea of removing myself temporarily, for the month of November from social media platforms. This would be a challenge because there is an addiction to the information, FOMO raises its head and I had created a habit which was hard to break. We decided it would be best to write an exit message, announcing my plans. So here it is:

1st November 2016 Facebook – “Today marks the start of my digital detox. A key part of my Mindfulness and Meditation training & wonderful for my sanity. I am turning off FB and just checking Whats App and Email once a day, so I will stay in the loop but remove myself from the barrage. Lets see how this goes. Over and out for now. If you need me in between, please call or pop in the old fashioned way!”

What I found that I could actually HEAR the noise that was most important and required my attention. Not only that but I could hear my soul’s voice – far from being under information-attack from all sides, I could feel in my body whether something felt right or wrong, was worth pursuing or not. It was truly a heavenly realisation – utter JOMO! Add to that the Joy at the release of pressure of commenting on people’s posts and Joy at the increased headspace. Joy at the beautiful replacement of FOMO with JOMO.

Honestly, I have not looked back. I haven’t missed out on a single thing. True friends have stayed in touch. I immediately gifted myself a huge amount more headspace to devote to those who really mattered in my life. I disconnected to reconnect with who really need and deserve my love and attention. It has been transformational!!

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Summer 2018 – enjoying a bit of JOMO!