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BattPack Sailing Log Days 5-8

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One of many spectacular sunrises

Day 5 – 29th November – I wake at 4:00 for the sunrise shift. I listen to music throughout and the sunrise doesn’t disappoint! The sky shifts through a glorious ensemble of colours, from dark grey, to orange, yellow, then through pink, purple and blue! The rest of the crew join me about 8:00 for a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs.

The wind has been blowing over 20kts all night and we have covered 165 miles in the last 24 hours. Gaining good ground. We are now catching the Trade Winds as hoped and they continue to blow above 20kts. The waves have increased notably in height – it is a good job we have all got our sea legs. I think that mine have finally arrived today, thank god for that! Feeling nauseous for the whole passage was certainly not my plan!

It is day 5 and we have all decided that not another day can pass without a shower! Wet wipes have been our friend until now but this is officially the longest I have ever been without a shower or a bath and it is really not my thing!! I am craving full body cleanliness! The salt water hose is working again so we don our swimwear (a brave move given we have been in long sleeves and trousers until now) and head to the bow of the boat. God it felt good to wash my hair – all done with salt water, with a frugal dose of fresh water right at the end. The sun shone but did little to stop our bodies shivering in the wind!! How can we describe it? Utterly invigorating! We stopped to check ourselves as we washed, looking around us, thinking that we certainly haven’t done this before and it is something we won’t forget!! The towels felt delicious as we wrapped them around us and we sat and brushed our hair dry in the wind, which by the way is an excellent hair dryer!

Today is the first day that we are all barefoot. We are feeling the pull of the Caribbean! It will be time to move our clocks forward soon – how wonderful to be sailing through time zones!

We haven’t seen any marine wildlife yet, despite 8 pairs of keen eyes! We have seen 2 birds swooping low to check us out but no sea creatures. The fishing lines remain untouched and the wish for BBQ for dinner remains unanswered! The lines have just gone in again this afternoon – we are keeping the faith.

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Jago feeling brave enough for a cold salt water shower!

Day 6 – November 30th The wind blew up over night and continued into the day – circa 30kts. We are going across the swell so the conditions are more difficult to weather. It feels as though we are on a bizarre rollercoaster that simply won’t stop. The kids are dealing with it very well but the best way for me to stomach it is lying down. Even then with such a strange motion, my internal compass simply doesn’t know which way is up! We are going up and down big waves and being thrown continuously from side to side. Our insides are constantly compensating for the irregular shifts. This is not a motion that I am keen on. At all. It is akin to being trapped inside a washing machine.

We had a lovely family chat in the saloon after lunch. Everyone hunkering in, swapping stories and entertaining each other. This is the highlight of the day. Until we get the fishing lines out. We have caught something! Much excitement in the cockpit, then someone exclaims that it looks like a sea snake! Indeed it does, a long sea snake wiggling and fighting its way toward our boat. Alas it as a long piece of heavy rope! Dismay!! Vegetable pie for dinner it is then!!

Jason does a boat check and is mystified why our water tank has gone from 7/8 to 5/8 in 24 hours. Not good news and no-one understands how as we have all been so frugal. Jay manually checks the level of the water tank and checks for any leaks. It must have come from a tap not being turned off properly. We must all be vigilant going forward otherwise we will run out of water way before we get to land. Crikey!

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The dramatic sea snake aka old piece of rope catch!

Day 7 – December 1stI did the Sunrise shift and dear Ruby woke up to join me for the last hour, where we watched the multi-hued sky with pleasure. When Jason woke up, he took over at the helm and I grabbed another hour’s sleep. I awoke to the delightful smell of a fried breakfast. Utterly delicious and devoured by all. It is the first of December – advent calendars! Much delight amongst the kids!

Another ARC boat, which we had seen in the night, sailed up close to us and shouted their hello’s! It is comforting to know that there are other boats in the vicinity of this vast Ocean!

The winds are still high, between 20-30kts which is between a Force 6-7 and the sea is still churned up. Infact, that is exactly how I would describe my stomach too! By now, day 7, I should be at one with the motion of the waves. Alas, I am not and by mid-afternoon I decide to take another seasickness tablet – a different brand this time, which hopefully won’t make me feel so sleepy. Hurrah, I perk up and enjoy the latter half of the day far more than the former.

We head to the bow of the boat for a different perspective and find a flying fish that had flown onto the deck and got stranded. Poor thing died in it’s struggle and is inspected by our fascinated crew. So we have caught 1 fish, just not in the traditional sense!

Today marks the day, 1 year ago, that my dear Grandpa died. We have swapped our favourite stories of him all day and feast on a delicious meal of Beef Black Bean and a pudding of home baked chocolate shortbread. God bless his soul!

We have sailed a record 181miles in the last 24 hours. Yay!

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One of many flying fish visitors

Day 8 – December 2nd – Bliss! A night off from watches last night for me. On Dad’s recommendation I popped my earplugs in and got some decent sleep! What a world of difference that makes. We woke up to the sound of Jago & Liberty giggling in their bunk – both excited about day 2 of their advent calendars!

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We decided it was time to get a little more festive. The kids made a yummy gingerbread house which was made, decorated and demolished in an hour and a half! We bought some festive window gel gems and the kids stuck them onto the windows in their bunks. Jago and Liberty both decided to write Christmas stories – some very sweet creation going on! They are becoming increasingly inventive about how to while away the hours.

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It is safe to say that we are all pros at Uno now!

Alex is getting on so well with his cousins. He has brought a wonderful fresh dimension to the boat. Such a gorgeous boy and a total joy to have onboard. When he sits with the kids there is much merriment and some fabulous accents! Dad and Jago have been strumming away on their guitars together. We are all enjoying quality time with each other & are reminded how important it was to get the right balance of people on this adventure.

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Boys strumming sesh

There has been sunshine for most of the day, which we have all enjoyed. The wind has come off a bit and the seas are a bit more settled. We have covered a respectable 179 miles in the last 24 hours.

 

BattPack Sailing Log Days 1-4

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Sunshine on the busy Start Line

Day 1 – 25th November – We leave Las Palmas as part of a grand parade. We all dress in Rainbows and Dad plays the Rainbow song on his guitar whilst we sing along. The sun is shining on us and the boat is loaded with anticipation of what lies ahead. She is also loaded to the rafters with food – we have a very impressive net in the cockpit which is fully laden with fresh fruit and vegetables.
The start gun sounds at 12.30 and we are off! The first day is spent in the company of other boats but as the day draws to a close we realise it may be the last time we see any of them and any land until we get closer to St Lucia. Jay has made up a delicious pasta sauce in advance and we feast on a yummy prawn pasta. Liberty says she is tired, I take her to bed and she is promptly sick on her duvet. Urghhh! We have all been taking sea sickness tablets since a couple of hours before we set sail. The idea is to take them for a couple of days and avert the perils of sea sickness. Alas, with dear Liberty it didn’t work! Happily the sickness was shortlived and she went to sleep shortly after.

We divvied up the night watch – I did the 9.30-1.00am, I woke up my Dad and Nephew Alex for the 1.00-4.00am and they woke Jason for the 4.00-7.00am shift. The night passed fairly smoothly apart from the fact that Dad mistakenly locked a very cold Jason out of the boat so he couldn’t come in and make a much-needed mid-shift cuppa! Brrrrrr

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Laden with food!

Day 2 – 26th November – Oh my we are all sleepy! A combination of the anti-sickness tablets, sea air and night shifts has meant we all feel shattered. We rise for meals, take it in turns to doze in between, and repeat! We are all finding our sea legs. It apparently takes about 4 days for people to settle into life aboard doing 24/7 watches – we are in the adjustment period. By the afternoon we have more energy and set up our first afternoon of fishing. The best time is an hour before sunset. We have done much research into the best ways to catch fish – the most likely catch in the Atlantic is Mahe Mahe and Tuna. Alas no joy tonight! We shall resume our efforts again tomorrow.

Rex and Jago both cut their feet onboard today – a regular peril with boat life. There have been various knocks and bumps to as we adjust to the constantly bobbing motion. We all need to hold on wherever we move and it is easy to forget! As the day draws to a close, we are treated to a spectacular sunset where the sun literally melts into the sea – how does that happen?! Such a thing of great beauty!

I cook a meal of tasty beef with rice and veg and it is devoured enthusiastically by the crew! We settle in to watch another half hour of The Karate Kid and then we settle the little kids and the night shifts begin. Rex and Ruby take on their first night shift, holding the fort until 10.30pm. Jason takes over until 1, wakes me for the 1-4, for the last hour of which I am struggling to keep my eyes open, then Dad and Alex take the sunrise shift. We pass the odd container ship and occasional sail boat but largely the sea is ours. The boat is gaining good ground, winds of around 11 knots giving us a speed over ground of around 5.5 knots over night.

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One of many spectacular sunsets

Day 3 – 27th November – Waking to the sound of waves lapping the boat is now a comfort rather than disconcerting. For the most part, we have our sea legs. Liberty and Jago are running around the saloon and cockpit like little monkeys. We are greeted by beautiful sunshine this morning. The ocean looks a glorious deep blue and the sky is perfectly baby blue.

After breakfast, a brave few of the crew decide it is time to try the salt water shower. Do you know that the average person in the UK uses 150 litres of water per day? Onboard we have 8 litres per person per day and we are fortunate enough to have a boat with 900 litres of water storage, on our previous boat we had half that amount and much less is usual on a monohulls! It is a lesson in frugality. Water is a precious resource onboard. Where we can, we use salt water, which is of course in abundant supply! The salt water shower head needs fixing, so it is a bucket over the head, wash with soap and a frugal rinse down with a sponge of fresh water. The kids decide that baby wipes are the way to go for the next couple of days and when they might brave the shower!

Everyone on board has a job to do. It is important to keep crew focused. Today Jago is our rigging checker. Liberty is checking and turning the fruit and vegetables in our net in the cockpit. We divvy up the tasks so that everyone is involved and has purpose.

Rex says to me today, “It is so much nicer than I thought it would be Mummy, floating around in the middle of nowhere with nothing much to do!” We are all surrendering to the moment, winding down from the pace of our lives at home, recognising the benefits of physical and metaphorical space.
I kicked off the watches tonight, with Jago snuggled in beside me. He was in awe at the stars – you can literally see the whole milky way. A sight that neither of us have never enjoyed before. The night passed smoothly with Alex doing his first solo night watch and Rex and Ruby joining Jason for the sunrise shift!

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Jason braving the delights of a salt water shower!

Day 4 – 28th November – I awake to the smell of Eggy Bread – yum! The sun is shining and everyone is in high spirits! We are amazed to have sailed passed the Sahara desert to our left. We are coming up to the Cape Verde Islands and are steering West in advance of them. We have reached a milestone, we have sailed South until the butter melts (as was the case many moons ago when boats sailed the old trade routes) and now it is time to head towards the Caribbean.

The wind and waves pick up and we are reaching speeds of 13kts down the crest of the waves. It feels like we are surfing but in a 24 tonne boat! This is exhilarating sailing.

We baked today and all luxuriated in the warm chewy sultana squares – they seemed extra delicious at sea! Thank you Linda for the recipe!

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Ruby and Rex were amazing with their Jago and Liberty onboard

We are all already sharing so many more conversations than we do at home. There is so much time to simply hang out together with no distractions. We have all agreed that the passage will be device free. There is no Wifi but the kids still have games etc on their devices and it would be easy for them to slip into the habit of playing games on them intently! Instead we have an hour or so of DVD watching all together at the end of the day. The rest of the time we are interacting, playing card or other games, colouring, sewing, playing music (guitars and keyboard onboard) telling silly stories, cooking, reading books – a generous list of activities to pleasantly pass the time, whilst being connected to the present moment and each other. Tonight we play an enjoyable game of Stop The Bus, much loved by us all!

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Musical talents onboard

The sea temperature is slowly increasing from 25 degrees in the Canaries to 27. We debate who is brave enough to jump in and swim once the seas get a bit calmer!

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Keen crew with their Skipper

Daring to Dream – Our Sail Across the Atlantic Ocean begins

I have always wanted to sail across an ocean. The prospect has long appealed to me. My free spirit loves the idea of sailing off into the blue, being self reliant and trusting what the ocean brings.

In 2009 when we had a year aboard our first boat BattCat, the time drew nigh for our Atlantic Crossing. Our eldest 2 kids were then 3 and 4 and after much discussion we decided that them being largely being confined to the cockpit of the boat for 3 weeks, could be more gruelling than pleasurable. On that trip we went ashore most days, the kids could stretch their legs, run around and let off steam. We swam and snorkelled every day and the sea was like a playground for them. They became adept at diving down for shell treasures and loved their sea adventures. The longest passage we did was a forty eight hours from Croatia to Corfu and the kids had cabin fever enough by then! Also an Ocean Crossing means someone keeping watch 24/7 and we needed more crew than just Jason and I to facilitate that. My Dad and Jason’s brothers were keen to join us, but to accommodate them comfortably we needed an extra bunk. So the decision was made that I would fly home with the kids – spend 3 weeks in the UK catching up with friends and family and Jason would sail across the Atlantic with the boys.

I knew it was the right decision but felt bereft at missing such an opportunity on our lovely boat. Jason and I are equally qualified sailors and he offered up the idea that I could take the helm and he could fly back with the kids. For a millisecond, I entertained the idea – it was an option – how wonderful, I could do it! In the next instant I realised that I simply couldn’t be away from my babies for that length of time. I was suddenly overwhelmed by an animal need to protect them. If something happened and I was mid Atlantic, I wouldn’t be able to get to them for at least a couple of weeks. I simply had to stay with them and would hold onto the dream of us sailing an ocean when the kids were bigger.

Well, life got progressively busier, we moved to Poole after our year of sailing adventures and had two more babies. We held onto the dream of a family ocean crossing but had to find the right window. We agreed that ideally our youngest would be 5 (enter the lovely Liberty age 5 and a half right now!!) and the eldest Rex wouldn’t be ensconced in exams! That time is now – Liberty is old enough to listen to instruction, amuse herself for stretches of time and she has largely grown out of the tantrum phase. Rex is in Year 9 and missing study time won’t affect his GCSE performance.

We agreed that we would make the crossing with the ARC, the Atlantic Rally for Cruisers, where at least 200 boats make the crossing at the same time. It may be that you don’t see another boat after day 2 but you will have boats within at least 20 miles of each other and thus contactable via the VHF. Every day at midday there is a call on the VHF to neighbouring boats to check all is ok and if anyone needs assistance. This incredible support network was vital to me as Mother of 4. The decision was made to sign up for the ARC 2018, leaving November 25th.

Next stop was to convince the schools to agree to the length of absence required for the trip. No mean feat when it comes to State Schools for whom it is particularly important to meet the local education authority requirements for absenteeism. Initially when planning this trip we wondered whether we would be able to take a year out, like we did in 2009 and this was our initial proposal to Rex’s school, for us to home school for the year and hold his place for our return. The feedback was that despite his great progress, the school would have to take him off the school register, this would be enforced by the Local Education Authority as the school is in high demand and there is a long waiting list. The kids would be put to the end of the waiting list. After discussion with our kids and understanding that they love their schools, have worked hard to get there and didn’t want to jeopardise their places, we had to revise our plans. We went back with a 6 month, then a 3 month option and the answer was the same. We researched further and found that 20 consecutive days is the maximum number that a pupil is able to take off without being taken off the register. The ARC leaves on the 25th November which required 19.5 days off before the kids broke up for the Christmas Holidays – surely meant to be!! So the decision was made to pepper our lives with sailing adventures rather than taking a huge chunk of time out. This particular trip will be 6.5 weeks.

The schools are now fully behind our voyage and the kids have work to do enroute to keep them up to speed. The belief that this Eduventure will be massively educational is understood by all. We will be taking our children out of the bubble of western living, out of comfort zones into a highly connected, family bonding experience. One in which we will all reset and be able to draw reference to for the rest of our lives. Into a world where there is no wifi, no modern distractions, where we will need to pull together as team, each of us with vital jobs to do. A world where there is so much space, endless sky and sea, sunrise and sunsets like no other and stars which can be appreciated in all their glory in the absence of any light pollution. The kids will take their part in the 24/7 watches, fishing for their dinner and learning new life-long skills.

For all our mid Atlantic updates please click here: Mid Atlantic Blog Updates and enter choose BattPack from the drop down list of boat names.

If you want to track our boat click here: Live Tracking of BattPack and choose ARC 2018 and enter BattPack as the boat name.

We cannot wait. The dream is here, now it is time to appreciate and savour. And so the 2800 mile voyage begins………..

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Our crew – Jason, Dulcie, Rex, Ruby, Jago and Liberty, my Dad Paul and Nephew Alex!!! xxxx

To be Joyful…

I love the term Joyful. It makes me smile, just hearing the word.  The Oxford Dictionary definition is: “Feeling, expressing, or causing great pleasure and happiness”. To me, it seems like the ideal state for a Mamma – to be largely either personally feeling or expressing, or causing your children to feel great pleasure and happiness. When we fully experience the beauty of pure joy, it feels electric.

I have always had a positive nature and recently I was slammed for it – for my choice to be happy despite the odds. I was called inauthentic as a result which, for a time hurt and baffled me. Ah and then the catch 22 – what other way is there, to respond to a claim of inauthenticity, other than to continue being 100% me?! Of course, that is what fuelled the negative comments in the firstplace. I realise now that it is truly none of my business what people think of me. If I am happy with who I am and my intentions for others are good – it is all good.

The experience raised a question about the whole Joyful Mamma thing – does the name mean that I am joyful all the time? Are you kidding me?!! The only way you can recognise and feel real joy is when you know it’s opposites like agony and sorrow. I know these feelings only too well, my gorgeous Mamma died just after my wedding and just before I found out that I was pregnant with my first born. I experienced the full range of negative emotions during that time of my life and my world felt heavy and arduous. Believe me, I know the opposites of Joy. In my experience, the gift of pain is that it sensitises you in a world intent on desensitisation.

When we feel the opposites of Joy, we often make these uncomfortable feelings more comfortable by numbing them out or repressing them. I became a total pro at this but the lesson I have learnt is that by numbing out the negative, I am naturally more numbed out to the positives. I don’t choose that trade off. I now know that I grow as much through the negative as I am lifted by the positive. I want to feel it all and whenever and wherever I can, I choose Joy. I believe that you will be exactly as joyful as you decide to be.

Remember that Joy is our birthright! This intrinsic state of joy that we are all born with is also known as our Buddha State. No matter what happens to us, this state lies within. Always there, never faltering. Knowing that my intrinsic self is joyful brings such inner peace.

Many years ago I read with delight the Buddhist philosophy that ‘everything passes’. Everything passes but the Buddha State remains. What liberation! Why hold on with attachment? See the situation for what it is and recognise that it will pass. The negative emotions that can flood us so quickly – anger, sadness, frustration,  take hold and then dissipate – they all do – that is why they are called e-motions and not e-standstills!!

After my Mamma died, I was often unable to fully immerse myself in joyful experiences. For me it was because I was still grieving and to feel anything close to happiness seemed disrespectful to her memory. It was also because I felt as though to really acknowledge the joy would be akin to tempting fate and would somehow bring about something negative – I would almost be worrying through the happy times, waiting for the next catastrophe to happen. This is of course very common for mothers of young children because kids tend to walk into several calamities during their day! When you are bracing yourself and expecting these calamities to happen, it is hard to slow down and focus on all the good stuff. The only response is to embrace the present – no amount of worrying can change the future or the past and it will certainly impede your enjoyment of the present.A quote by Eckhart Tolle resonates with me here, “Accept-then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it…This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

Our life is our prayer. It is our gift to the Universe. The memories we leave behind when we leave this world will be our legacy to our loved ones. We owe it to ourselves and everyone around us to be happy and to spread that joy around. One more day that you don’t feel JOYful as a mother, is another day that you can’t. It is never too late to start, but always too late to wait!

What is it to embody Joyful Mothering?  To be connected with your life in the present moment; to spot and soak up all the joy on offer to empower you and your children and enable you to be better prepared when times get tough; to be able to pause before you react and then react in a more loving way; to recognise the big picture and far reaching impact of your Mothering – to truly bask in the glory of this incredible role and responsibility and see it as life’s ultimate gift.

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Sober Sensations

Having spent many years in sales and marketing I know that we largely desire things for the feeling that they will bring us rather than the thing itself eg: to relax, have fun, loosen up. What has always fascinated me is that if we work out why we desire the thing, (ie: what feeling is it that we are craving?), then we can then try to attain that feeling without the thing itself. Try it! It raises your vibration and works with the law of attraction. The more you project that feeling, the more the feeling will be available to you and the less you will need the ‘thing’.

Ok so the ‘thing’ in this context is alcohol. I have been alcohol free now for nearly 2 years. It has been an ongoing experiment and is part of my spiritual journey and desire to connect with my inner truth. I realise that alcohol dulls the connection to my intuition and this was hampering my mission to connect to my true essence. Prior to January 2017, I had never before questioned the habit of alcohol in my life.

Alcohol was always around as I grew up – my parents didn’t drink much but a glass of wine to relax, and a few more to have a fun night out were commonplace. As kids we were offered a mini glass of wine a ‘soupcon’ my Dad would say, during family gatherings or our Sunday meal. As soon as I could drink legally, I did without question. Friends would meet in bars and pubs and our socialising was lubricated by booze. At University, more of my weekly budget was spent on booze and nights out than on food. I clubbed through my twenties and we drank to lift the energy on the night and drank the next day to take the edge off the hangover. We treasure our friends and love partying with them – the chatting, the dancing, the carefree behaviour all seemed so much more natural after a couple of drinks.

I knew that something was amiss because we had 4 kids, my husband worked away all week in London and the weekend was the highlight of the week, What did we do? We celebrated a Friday night with a G&T, followed by a bottle of wine between us. More alcohol flowed if we went out to party. This meant that we were feeling even a little hungover for most of the weekend, which certainly dulled the potential fun family time – the time we had been looking forward to each week. Often by a Sunday night we would feel as though we weren’t ready for the new week to start because we hadn’t made the most of the weekend.

Every January we had a Dry month and my oh my did it feel dry. Going out for dinner felt all the more empty without booze to accompany it. Nights out with friends seemed less amusing. We often didn’t drink during the week, during the rest of the year, unless we were out or entertaining but in Dry January the lack of booze lessened the delineation of week day to weekend – it all felt the same. During my pregnancies I abstained for the health of my baby – with the odd exception of a small celebratory glass of fizz. The abstinence was a hardship and I certainly felt like I was missing out. I felt as though something was lacking – how could a Sunday fireside-meal taste as good without a glass of red wine to accompany it?

So what changed in January 2017? It was an as per usual Dry January, during which my sister gave me the Annie Grace book ‘This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol’ which I read with interest. It is a very easy read and by the time I had finished the booked I chose to spontaneously give up alcohol for longer than the traditional dry January as part of an ongoing experiment.

The experiment is still ongoing and I truly feel that I have embraced this new way of living and can see no reason to return to what was. The overwhelming feeling is that I am happier than I was – there are no artificial alcohol-fuelled highs but I am also free of the associated lows of the hangover. My mind is clearer, I feel brighter, more connected with myself and with others, and I genuinely feel more joy. I have embraced various parties – 40th celebrations, family gatherings, parties in London and Ibiza. Dare I say it, all of these have been more enjoyable without the booze. I can have all the up side without the lows.

1 year ago, my husband was fascinated by my transformation and decided to give it a go himself – he read the book to same effect and is now a more radiant being than I can ever remember. He is thrilled with the positive impact on his life and feels that the blinkers have been lifted!

I remember thinking that I would miss the buzz-stage of drinking — when your inhibitions begin to fade,  you let yourself go, relax and have fun. The truth is that this sober buzz is better in every way – I have more fun, remember it all and feel truly free.

Now when I was a drinker I used to look upon the teetotallers, who were few and far between in our group, with much suspicion. Why did they not drink? Bet they were dull. Did they have a problem with alcohol – members of AA? I questioned whether to invite them to parties as I wondered how much fun they would be and worried that might judge the drinking antics of the rest of the party goers. So now I am on the flip side of that. I am that person and I see the confusion flash across the faces of my drinking friends when they can’t believe that I can be having a better time not drinking than drinking. Even my very best friends question it. There is an intimation that I am ruining their drinking experience by not joining them because they feel as though they are under greater scrutiny and my not drinking makes them feel uncomfortable with their drinking. I have been quizzed time and time again – it has certainly got rather boring, about why I am not drinking and surely I must feel as though I am missing out and maybe I could treat myself to ‘just one”. My stock response now is “I am still a hedonist but now I truly get more pleasure from not drinking than drinking!” That usually shuts them up and I can swiftly change the subject.

So here goes, having seen both sides of the coin and experienced life on each:

I Choose: Energy over lethargy. A clear bright complexion vs dulled skin. Clarity vs a muddled mind. Early morning rises with a smile and excitement for the day ahead over a dull headache and desire to stay in bed. Meaningful conversations that I remember the next day vs drunken conversations that I promptly forget. Connection vs disconnection. Incredible natural highs with no downside. Productivity over procrastination. Being fully present to it all over distracting and numbing out. Self care over self medication. Connection with my true essence over losing sight of her.  Self love over self recrimination. Daily joy of BEING vs lost in the time warp of DOING. Amazing sleep vs disturbed nights. Sparkling eyes over exhausted stares. Best sex ever over drunken romps. Dancing with carefree abandon vs dancing with my head spinning.

All Hail Sober Sensations!

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June 2018 – Jay and I partying hard in Ibiza, stone cold sober and loving every bit of it!! x